This is a separate feedback page. The comments were received as a reaction to the BLOG page, by email, while some were taken from movingtomonaco.org
We welcome testimonies of your experiences and observations by email and promise to keep them anonymous to protect your privacy.
"Having experienced unfairness in separation here in Monaco, I have only one advice for my daughter: Don’t become a mother! In this society, it is not worth investing your time, body and effort into family and home, married or not. Why should she? My advice for her would be: if you want to become a parent, make sure you have developed your career (even if it takes you 60 years), have stabilised your income, saved some or substantial funds in your bank account, built no reliance on a male partner or built independence from any eventuality that may happen in your partnership, and then best to adopt from the third world! Otherwise, don’t become a parent.
For my son, I would also like him to grow up far away from the influences of these egotistical values reinforced by culture and laws here. But can I prevent him from this fully when his dad enjoys those attitudes as much as his tax avoidance status?
But deep down what did dad's behavior towards the mom during and after separation convey to our daughter? What is she worth as the future Mother? ... Same thing as my advice to her. Not worth being a Mother of the family. Not these days... Stay independent."
"When my ex-partner included in “our” agreement regulating separation and joint custody the paragraph stating that I am not allowed to date any man for 2 years (as if “to protect our child from trauma”), I thought he was joking! Only to learn that even married women in Monaco after divorce cannot remarry for 310 days by LAW!!! This doesn’t apply to a man. What is this??? How does one call this in modern society???
I had to agree because I had no rights whatsoever to negotiate, risking to lose my child and basic maintenance for him and me. However, my economic reality and time sharing is such that I couldn’t enter into a relationship with another man anyway. I constantly risk and fear renegotiations with my ex on worse terms for me. Even after the separation, my ex controls my life because I put the interest of our young child ahead of mine for now. I can’t do otherwise. And that’s the curse of the mother and the maternal instinct today."
"Absence of a free union recognition in Monaco can lead to the situation of psychological isolation, harassment and abuse towards the unrecognised partner. Can a union partner be considered really independent, separate and at liberty to walk away from an abusive situation, if she/he thinks about the well-being of small kids and has no other protection by law and society? What if she is heavily pregnant with another baby? What if she has no sufficient linguistic skills to stay and to find a job in the Principality?"
One thought on “Testimonies”
MONACO Principality should address the issue with the gravity it deserves and live up to their international obligations to put in place domestic legal systems capable of responding adequately to the unbalanced men-women rights.